Something is not right here
by Curbstompd
Summary: Someone  coughcoughenglandcoughcough  has accidentally switched the personalities of all the nations! This makes for one strange world meeting. Rated T for swearing. Deliberately OOC characters.
1. The Result of England's Cooking

The characters here are DELIBRATELY OOC as you could probably tell.

Discaimer- I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers.

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Canada shot from his seat. "Dudes, I know I'm really awesome and I'm totally the hero, but I still find this personality thingy really weird. So what I think we should do is create some kind of crazy superhero to rip out our brains and switch them around so we won't have this problem by ourselves! Isn't that awesome?"

China folded his arms and looked down. "I agree with Canada. I always agree with-"

Liechtenstien slammed her tiny fist onto the table. "Grow up or I'll beat you with my _bruder's_ Peace Prize!"

Switzerland trembled. "L-little sister, p-please don't start a war!"

France quietly sipped wine from a small teacup. "Canada, there is no way that any superhero would be able to help with our predicament. That's just your new obsession shining through."

England winked and said, "You just love to lord your nonexistent superiority over everyone, don't you, France?"

France scowled. "OBJECTION!"

Canada, as usual, was poking England in the head with his pen. "You Brits just love to hate Canada, eh? Why don't you go back to making us delicious scones that I can stuff in my face all day!"

Japan scoffed. "You occidentals are so immature. You would like some delicious sushi, yes?"

Britain and France were trying to strangle each other, but they took a break to scream, "We'd just get hungry again!"

Spain scowled at Russia. "HEY, VODKA BASTARD!" he growled. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A WORLD POWER! SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!"

Romano came over. "Aww, Spain's tuning red!"

"SHUT UP, PIZZA BASTARD!"

Russia trembled, bursting into tears. "I-I don't want to!" he sniveled. "Latvia's scaring me!"

Latvia floated over. "I am thinking that Lithuania gets in trouble and comes crawling to me for help." He put a hand on Russia's trembling shoulder. "And you will become one with Latvia too, da?"

Russia only sobbed harder.

Lithuania rolled his eyes at his fellow Baltic nation. "Yeah sure. You'll so totally be, like, picking a fight with Haiti too."

Poland stood shakily between Latvia and Lithuania. "Seriously! P-please stop threatening L-lithuania!"

Turkey was oblivious to everything, but of course that was because he was snoring away peacefully.

The fight between England and France got worse and worse, until... "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

England looked up, wiggling in France's headlock. All the eyes in the room turned to the small, red-haired nation standing at the end of the table. _"Italy?"_

His eyes blazing with anger, Italy slammed a fist onto the table. "WE CALLED THIS CONFERENCE BECAUSE SOME IDIOT DECIDED TO SWITCH OUR PERSONALITIES AROUND, BUT WE CANNOT DWELL ON FIGHTING ABOUT THAT! AND SINCE I'M THE ONLY COUNTRY WHO IS ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING THIS FIXED, I WILL RUN THE CONFERENCE FROM HERE ON OUT! FROM NOW ON, ENGLAND IS NOT ALLOWED TO MOLEST FRANCE, CANADA NEEDS TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP, LATVIA IS TO STOP ABUSING RUSSIA, AND CHINA CAN GO GET HIS OWN DAMN FREE WILL! EACH PERSON WILL ONLY GET EIGHT MINUTES FOR DEBATES AND SPEECHES, AND IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK, RAISE YOUR HAND IN A WAY THAT DOES NOT OFFEND CERTAIN FORMERLY AXIS COUNTRIES!"

A hand raised from the other side of the table.

Italy pointed and roared, "ITALY RECOGNIZES HIS FRIEND GERMANY!"

All eyes turned to the nation sitting at the end of the table. Germany, a goofy grin plastered all over his face, hesitated for a moment. Then he closed his eyes and happily yelled, "BEEEEEEEER!"

And what do you guys think?


	2. G9

I really appreciate the comments, guys! And no, I did not intend for this to be a single-shot, so here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer. I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers. Say otherwise and you will be forced to become one with Latvia.

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After the all-world meeting, which had by the way accomplished absolutely nothing, the nations of G8 (and for once, China) met for a top-secret emergency session.

There was one problem.

"Canada? You are here, right?" France asked, annoyed concern in his voice.

"DUDE! WHY WOULDN'T I BE HERE, EH? I'M THE HERO!" Canada waved his arms about trying to get noticed. Kumajiro sat in the corner, quietly muttering, _"F**king... F**king..."_

France rubbed his ear painfully; Canada's loudness had nearly blown out his eardrum. "Oui, I guess that's everyone. But I would like to do a quick headcount, just in case. I get the feeling there's something missing..."

He looked around the G8 table. "Well, there's me."

"I am here," China said quietly.

"VE! I am present! Can we just get on with this?" Italy grumped.

"I'm heeeere!" Germany happily waved a white flag everywhere. He had had Italy's personality for less than 24 hours, and he had already amassed a colossal arsenal of little white banners.

"CANADA'S HERE! NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!" Canada turned to England. "HEY, BRITISH DUDE! YOU MAKE THOSE GREAT SCONES, EH? MAKE ME TEN PLATES OF 'EM!"

"Hon hon hon!" England waggled his eyebrows. "I will make them in no time, and you will all love them!"

Japan responded from the other corner of the room. "They're coming, aru, The pandas, aru."

"That's only seven!" France said in alarm.

"No, there is eight," Italy said. "Russia's hiding under the table." Indeed, a steady stream of terrified _kolkolkols_ came from beneath the mahogany surface.

"That's everyone!" whined England. "All of G8 is here! Can't we begin so I can drag France off afterwards?"

France wisely scooted down the table. "Oui, it seems so. Let's get down to business. We need to figure out-"

"HOLD ON!" Italy was on his feet again. "CHINA'S HERE!"

The other nations' mouths dropped open. "Then... That means we should be G9..." France said.

"Dude, this is way creepy, eh?" Canada said.

"This is like Japanese horror movie where everyone dies at the end!" China panicked.

"AAAAH!" Canada dove under the table to join Russia.

Meanwhile, the room's ninth occupant was smiling creepily, unnoticed by anyone else. "Maybe if I make some noise, they'll notice me. They'll notice me eventually."

"Who are you?" asked Tony the Alien.

The man smiled. "I'm America."

All right, I just had to put this in. The next chapter will be how the change happened.

For the next chapter: The Awesome Austria and the Prussian Aristocrat! Muahahahahaha!


	3. England Explains

Flashback to two nights ago

England's House

Midnight

"_Paris Hilton underwater, Thanksgiving dinner turkey slaughter, Daniel Radcliffe, Singman Rhee, Jersey Shore and redwood tree..."_

England chanted nonsensical words as he angrily stirred the pot of ingredients in his cellar.

_Insult my eyebrows, will they?_ He thought to himself. _I'll show them eyebrows!_

He added the final ingredient to the mixture and continued stirring at a frenzied pace. Well, if America and France were going to insult his massive caterpillar-sized eyebrows, he might as well show them what it was like!

"_Evil odor, Serengeti, Alex Rider, black confetti!" _He finished his chant and raised his hand away from his spellbook. "Evil Eyebrows, summoned from the depths of hell- BOLLOCKS!" That last outburst was caused when he brought his hand forward in a sweeping gesture, accidentally knocking a bottle of Scottish whiskey into the cauldron.

"DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!" England could only back away in horror as the unholy mixture of eyebrow potion and whiskey bubbled and frothed, turning a dreadful brown color. Then, the concoction exploded, throwing England against the wall and shattering all the bottles in his cellar. A wave of purple light exploded from England's house, washing over the entire earth before disappearing.

England sat up in the wreckage of his spell room. There was Worcester sauce all over his shirt, brine dripping from his wizard cloak, and there were eyes of newt in his hair.

He picked up a piece of shattered mirror from the floor and looked at his reflection.

Suddenly, he did something completely out of character for him.

He began to cry.

"Whyyyyy! My beauty! It is all gone! My lovely haaair! Whyyy?" he screamed, in a way that would remind any other nation of France. "Now I shall never be able to seduce my Froggy friend to..."

He stopped cold, in sudden realization of what he was saying and doing. He tried to form a coherent swearword, but all that escaped from his treacherous mouth was a scream of pure terror.

Far away, across the English Channel in Paris, France heard a distant wail.

"Stupid bloody kids," he growled. "I'll curse the lot of 'em when I get up." Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

~Hetalia~

Modern Day

All the other nations in G9 glared at England as he finished his explanation. Of course with the exception of Russia, as he was still cowering and shaking under the table, and Germany, who was trying to hug Italy.

Italy looked mad enough to spit nails. "You cursed us? So now I have to act competent and run things until we change back? VE!" Then he was grabbed from behind by a very clingy German.

"Italyyyyy!" Germany squealed. "Can we have beeeeeeeer?"

"Not NOW!" Italy yelled, trying in vain to hold off the larger nation.

France did something unexpected. He walked over to England and started strangling him. "YOU IDIOT, ANGLETERRE! NOW I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU AND YOUR STUPID BLOODY EYEBROWS TRYING TO MOLEST ME AT EVERY TURN! YOU'D BETTER BLOODY CHANGE US BACK, BECAUSE NOW I CAN'T DRINK MY WINE WITHOUT FALLING DOWN DRUNK! BAKABAKABAKABAKA!"

England winked suggestively. "Oh, so you like my eyebrows?"

France considered this for a second, and then punched him out.

**All right, it took me ages to finish this update. School sucks, huh?**


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